Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
