splinters make it hard to masturbate
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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