New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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