Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
