I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
