I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
