The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
