life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize