My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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