Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
