Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
