I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize