I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
