matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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