Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
