We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We have so much sex to catch up on
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
