so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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