Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
