I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
