you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
