I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize