yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
