i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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