Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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