Kiss
Puke
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He passed out mid-signature
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
