No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
