her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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