yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
