My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize