well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
