the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
