i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
