just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize