If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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