I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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