Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Drunk is a universal language darling
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
