These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
