Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
