I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
