it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i out mim tonsoeep
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
