remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
