well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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