hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
