Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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