If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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