I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
