So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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