Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
