This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize