can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
