I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
