So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
