how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
