so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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