I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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