In the future we'll all be gay
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
