I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize