i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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