You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
