My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
