I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I am full of burrito and curiosity
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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