And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sponge bath it is.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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