My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
