everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
