my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
