i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
no, he came in my armpit
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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