I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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