8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm just crazy horny about you
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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